I was hesitant to write about this experience. I felt a deep sense of vulnerability and I didn’t want to discourage others from traveling, experiencing, and connecting. However, I thought it was important to show there is as much to learn from the difficult experiences as there is from the beautiful.
During my last few years of traveling, I have been fortunate enough to meet people from many different cultures and backgrounds and have been able to witness first hand how anywhere you go, people share the same hopes, fears, and struggles. However, I have also seen conflicts arise due to misunderstandings, differences in beliefs, as well as the result of coping behaviors magnified by the stress of the hiking life. This story reminds me we are all just people trying to make sense of the world around us.
About the Three Passes Trek
I had just finished up yoga training in India and decided last minute to take a trip to Nepal. This was an unplanned journey I decided to do once I was in India and found out how close I was to some of the best hiking in the world. During my unplanned trip, I was able to hike the Three Passes Trek. I started at Lukla which is the location of a kinda scary mountain airport where I flew in. Check out the video below.
The Three Passes is a big loop of about 120 miles within the Himalayan Mountains. The beginning starts in Lukla and you head north on a downhill trek passing through Phakding before heading uphill on the way to Namche Bazaar. At Namche Bazaar, hikers can either proceed in a clockwise or counter-clockwise direction. I chose counter-clockwise.
I walked all the way around the loop and back to Namche Bazaar when I felt an overwhelming sensation of accomplishment. I had experienced new heights (literally – over 18,000 feet) and some of the most beautiful views in the world. The trek wasn’t quite over yet, but all I needed to do was walk back on the part of the trail I had already covered. I know I wasn’t technically done, but it was time to celebrate. Below is my TikTok video from The Three Passes Trek.
The Celebration
Namche Bazaar in Nepal is the home of the highest Irish pub in the world. I stopped in with a group of hikers who I had got to know during the previous several days on the trek. If it’s time to celebrate, I can’t think of a better place. So cheers to that!
I was hanging out with 5 men in total: Marcel from Poland, James from England, G from Portugal, Alex from Sweden, and Dylan from Australia. We danced and laughed for hours and drank like we just did a 120 mile hike around the top of the world.
At the end of the evening there were only 4 of us left: myself, James, Dylan, and Marcel. As you should be cautious to do while drinking, we started talking politics and the differences between our countries. James appeared to grow in anger during the conversation and eventually brought up the topic of war and talked about his friend who was lost during conflict. You could actually feel his energy rising to an aggressive level.
He was especially angry at the United States and their involvement in different wars and I was apparently the closest outlet for that anger. I was confused why he was targeting the US specifically and was genuinely trying to understand his viewpoint. James became visibly angry at me. Looking back now, I felt defensive and what I said is much more harsh than I intended, but in that moment I stated, “How does me being from the United States have anything to do with your friend? I don’t understand.” Yes, in retrospect, not the most sensitive or smart reply to a drunk, angry, and grieving man.
James stood up, and began yelling in my face, “Don’t go there! Don’t even dare!” I leaned back and froze in place. Dylan stepped in because he could see the situation escalate and told James, “That’s enough!” James then splashed water in Dylan’s face which led to blows. They were then sent outside to fight it out.
I didn’t fully grasp the situation at the time. I stayed in the pub and waited until Dylan came back in and sat down with us. He said James was so drunk, the fight didn’t last long. Then Marcel came back in the bar and urgently told us to leave through the back way because James was returning and was even angrier.
It wasn’t until a few days later when I processed how volatile and dangerous the situation had become. Misunderstandings and conflicts, especially when combined with alcohol can elevate to a scary situation quickly.
I ran into James a week later in Kathmandu while spending several days waiting for my return flight to the US (You can read about that time in Kathmandu at this link). The chances of running into anyone in a city the size of Kathmandu (1.4 million) seems incomprehensible. We made eye-contact, nodded in acknowledgement, and then simply passed on the street like strangers do.
The Message I Hope This Conveys.
I most certainly didn’t write this story in order to discourage others from traveling and meeting new people. I simply want to share my experience. It doesn’t seem to matter where I am in the world, everyone is dealing with the same shit – it makes the world feel smaller and more connected. A-ha moments don’t just occur when things go well, you can find the beauty of humanity even in the ugly.
The traveling communities throughout the world are both the same and different in their viewpoints. Travelers often share a sense of camaraderie and a willingness to help one another along their journeys. While travelers share a common love of seeing new things and finding connections, their backgrounds, cultures, experiences, and beliefs can vary greatly and at times create conflict.
However, conflicts are not necessarily about politics or nationality, but are rooted in our shared humanness – and in James’ case, his grief over his lost friend. No matter where you are from on this Earth, no one escapes the full spectrum of emotions that can follow loss. The traveler community, like any other community, has its own dynamics, but ultimately we are all simply seeking to understand the world we live in.
One response to “A Yank, A Brit, and An Aussie Walk Into a Nepalese Bar …”
[…] I was overthinking the situation, so I decided to call my mom. She simply said, “What are you talking about? You’re that close? Go to Nepal. Who cares if come back with nothing, you just find a job when you come home. Why is this even a conversation?” (I didn’t have enough money for a cup of coffee when my mom picked me up at the airport in Chicago … then she took me out for sushi.) It was good to hear to “go for it” from someone else, especially my mom. I spent the next month meeting some of the coolest people and hiking through The Three Passes – one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. I was able to make side trips to all the major base camps like Ama Dablam Base Camp and Everest Base Camp. I even reached the highest point I’d ever been up until that time at Chukhung Ri, which stands at 18,196ft. (I write about that trip here.) […]